Money is divinely feminine

and, how to get over the rich white dude's faces

When I started this newsletter, I had no idea that two of my first three entries would be about money, but here I am! 

Yesterday my friend sent me this text

and I had so much to say about it that I knew was for all of you.

This inkling started years ago. I would hear people I admire to talk about money as an energy exchange, as a way to mark what you value, and I got that in my mind, but my body didn’t believe it. It is hard to believe it when we have been both programmed to believe in scarcity AND have lived experience of money shortage.

This spring, I took a deep dive into my relationship with money. It started with my need to get separated, but I also know it’s deeper than that because our relationship with money goes way back… let me take you back…

There was a time before crop agriculture that we lived in smaller communities, and were valued based on what we each came to earth to share. Our innate gifts. The way we spoke and listened and cared for each other. Resources were shared whether they were physical, emotional or spiritual.

As crop agriculture developed our values system changed. Some began to have an abundance of physical resources. Some were used as physical resources. Values began to shift towards haves and have-nots.  Patriarchy set in as what I truly believe was a power grab of white men wanting to secure their place. 

(Side note: if you look at the total history of human civilization - including our paleo ancestors - you will see that patriarchy is just a finger nail of time… Women and their ability to reproduce is of top value as an animal species. It was even common in hunter gatherer times for women to have multiple partners as that was better for the diversification of species. We all know stories of indigenous people where mothers and grandmothers were the ones making choices for the community. It is not a stretch to imagine the fear men felt as cultures settled down and a power system “needed” to be established. This isn’t about man hating this is a history education. Conversations inside of conversations. )

Post plow agriculture, we as a civilization began racking up more than we needed. We began attributing value to things to say how valuable a person was… oyster shells, cowrie shells, paper dollars.

Yes - I am making simplifying our history with money here, but I invite you to think about it. Feel into the sensation of being valued for who you are and then the cultural switch of being valued on how much stuff you have, and all of that stuff having a value that you need to trade for ...

But if we go deeper inside the word value, and think of the energy of that: that’s what money is meant to represent. An energy of support and creation and reciprocity.

I know I am sharing mere words when what I am speaking about is lifetimes of entanglement. Safety struggles. Insecurity. Feeling trapped and worthless. Victim and savior mentality. This relationship with money might not be saved through an email, but I hope it is a starting point.

Because that’s what it is: a relationship with value. An opportunity to have relationship with the life-giving supporting, sustaining creating energy of the universe.

And every single, external relationship, we have - with our dog, with our kids, with a lover, with money, with food - is a mirror for our relationship with ourselves.

Like one of my best girls said to me when I was in the depth of heartbreak: it’s all you. 

I can now conjure up empathy for the white men’s faces on dollar bills, and the white men who put those faces there. I see all of their scared hearts, trying to grab on to any footing at all. But before I could get to empathy, I had to feel the raw anger. I had to sit with abandonment. I cried on my altar, for myself, and also for money. Because she never wanted to be taken over in this way. She never asked to be the scapegoat for everyone’s problems. She never asked to be abused. She never asked to be used to hurt other people.

I have to forgive her for any ways she’s hurt me. Forgive myself for ways I blamed her, misjudged & misunderstood her. And, I ask her forgiveness.

We have to recognize we have histories of ancestral trauma, stored in our bodies around money. And we have to recognize our power to choose to change that.

You are not bad for all the thoughts you’ve ever had about money before. They will likely show up for you again and again, because reprogramming is a practice.

And you are not bad or bypassing for wanting to change that dynamic.

I have to believe that money’s nature is divinely feminine. I have to believe she wants to be creative and supportive of all my dreams.   I have to, because when I believe this, I invite safety and possibility into my body and into my life and when I don’t believe this… Well, we all know what scarcity and stuck feels like. .

I am actively choosing a different relationship with money as the divine feminine flow. Every day, I tell her I love her.

From the place of safety and possibility, everything opens up. Life becomes a garden. Money is the water.

How does this feel in your body? Where are you at with your relationship to money? Do you find overlap in your relationship with money and your relationship with yourself? Check the shadowy corners … Tell me about it in the comments or email.

This work I’m doing with money has been deeply inspired by these resources: inheritance and the wealthy woman vault. Neither are actively for sale right now but if they are ever available again and this work is important to you, get yourself to these classes opportunities. (I will let you know!)

And back to my girl’s text: yes, I do make love to money. (I cannot believe I am typing that into the internet.) And it’s not about the white men at all. It is all about me (or YOU!) and my relationship to the universe. Email me and I’ll send you resources.